Sales page case study: Goddamn Radiant

Hey there!

I just finished re-structuring and re-writing one of my oldest offerings, Goddamn Radiant.

Most of my sales pages are written and published within three days. (Sometimes less.) But this one took five drafts and nearly three months to complete.

Why? What were the problems I had to solve? Time for a sales page case study!

*analysis hat*

You can download the full recording here, or listen to it in sections below.

Part 1: Why did the sales page need to be re-written?

Audio MP3

The original Goddamn Radiant sales page

Part 2: The original sales page, Take One.

Audio MP3

The first draft of the new sales page

Clarity: kinda important!

The three layers of what-this-is

What the first section of a sales page is for

“It’s possible to write something that’s all about you, and have it feel really impersonal at the same time.”

The difference between “you” and “ya’ll”

Hat tip again to Kelly Diels for her wonderful sales page exercise

Part 3: Take Two & Three, the curse of impersonal

Audio MP3

The second draft of the new sales page

The third draft of the new sales page

When in doubt, make it tangible.

Storytelling isn’t a magical solution

God Mode versus first-person

Begin with them (where they are now, and where they could be)

The vital role of momentum

The two acceptable outcomes (and… that other one)

Reality, and then hope

Never tell me the odds!

Engage the senses

Distant + detailed = more accurate scientific study

Part 4: Take Four, engage the sad panda!

Audio MP3

The fourth draft of the new sales page

Pushing the pain point

Trying to convince myself as much as the reader.

Some pains are harder to describe than others.

Playing it too strong.

Trust the reader.

“Feeling the need to over-explain and over-emphasise and really just cram it down someone’s throat… that was a function of me not trusting this yet.”

So many details!

The decision point

Fear the FAQ.

Price defensiveness as over-explanation

A major warning sign: “I don’t want people to see you.”

All love to Leela.

“Like swimming through oatmeal.”

Start with mirroring, one level up.

The stairway to cheery.

Don’t build yourself a straightjacket.

Finding another way to offer the outcome, without the downsides.

Part 5: The final draft, getting it right.

Audio MP3

The fifth draft of the new sales page (of course you could just go look at the actual sales page, but this is also here for posterity.)

All the pieces are in place!

Compare and contrast.

Evocative without matching the feel.

Modelling what they want, instead of where they are.

“When you really want to identify with people, it’s easy to get stuck where they’re stuck.”

Changing energy through sentence structure.

Making the sales page be an examplar of the offer.

When you are demonstrating enough proof, you don’t have to prove yourself so much.

Effortless creation as a function of clarity.

And done! PHEW.

The sales page resource I mention is already available to The Provocateurs, and will be available to everyone else in 2013.

What did you learn from my re-write of Goddamn Radiant? Tell me in the comments!

  • Hi Catherine, something weird is happening with your feed. You can get to your blog from it but no text is showing.

  • I finally remembered to listen to this. It was even MORE fantastic than I had anticipated. And I would like to submit my formal request that you consider doing more audio-based talking-through-of-stuff stuff. I can’t remember last time I learned a ton of useful stuff AND got fascinating insight into someone’s process AND cracked up repeatedly while listening to audio content. Just sayin’. I think it suits you 🙂

    • Thank you, lovely! I shall record more as soon as I can think of a relevant topic. (All suggestions will be considered!)

      • I’ll think on it! Anything that talks through business-y processes or decisions or the like would be splendiferous, IMO. Sort of an “Inside Catherine’s Brain” type thing 🙂

  • Catherine, as promised, I listened to this a second time and really focused on your philosophy (not just words). Thanks again to Erin Kurup for sharing the link to this *awesome* resource with me!

    The main takeaways I got from this – and will be acting on – are these:

    1) Writing a sales page is a great way to get clarity on what you’re offering, down to the nitty-gritty.
    2) Show, don’t tell doesn’t come naturally to me. I’m confident I can do a better job of writing really tangible details and grabbing as many senses as I can now.
    3) Don’t get into The Sims “God-mode” when you write sales pages. 🙂
    4) Like public speaking, contrast – where you are and where you could be – is huge.
    5) Don’t slow down the momentum of your sales page by getting into the “why” of what’s broken (e.g. analyzing the problem for them makes this seem like an essay or white paper).
    6) Explain to them what their pain points are, but don’t push it so far or make it so vivid that people shut down. Don’t pound them with the same theme over and over so they experience it as “Do you get it now?! Do you get it now?! Do you get it now?!” Trust that someone’s going to get your premise and don’t cram it down their throat. (that was hilarious the way you described it!)
    7) Mirroring someone’s current state, but one or two steps up, can work. And then bring it up a notch until you get to the [insert doing a happy dance sound] point where they realize that your resource will get them where they want to be.

    • Thank for for sharing this fantastic summary, Joel! Please feel free to share the next sales page you write, I’d love to see how it goes with all these ideas in mind!

      • Hey Catherine,

        Here’s the link to the sales page for The Digital Launch Playbook that I wrote with your wisdom and best practices in mind:

        http://valueofsimple.com/tdlp-joinus/

        It was a treat to write and about infinity times better than the last one I wrote (which I won’t link to out of embarrassment). You’ll notice I borrowed the concept from Goddamn Radiant for the first few paragraphs, but then I took this in my own direction.

        Thanks again for the inspiration and knowledge to write a rockin’ sales page (at least I hope people feel that way)!

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