Sales page case study: Goddamn Radiant

Hey there!

I just finished re-structuring and re-writing one of my oldest offerings, Goddamn Radiant.

Most of my sales pages are written and published within three days. (Sometimes less.) But this one took five drafts and nearly three months to complete.

Why? What were the problems I had to solve? Time for a sales page case study!

*analysis hat*

You can download the full recording here, or listen to it in sections below.

Part 1: Why did the sales page need to be re-written?

Audio MP3

The original Goddamn Radiant sales page

Part 2: The original sales page, Take One.

Audio MP3

The first draft of the new sales page

Clarity: kinda important!

The three layers of what-this-is

What the first section of a sales page is for

“It’s possible to write something that’s all about you, and have it feel really impersonal at the same time.”

The difference between “you” and “ya’ll”

Hat tip again to Kelly Diels for her wonderful sales page exercise

Part 3: Take Two & Three, the curse of impersonal

Audio MP3

The second draft of the new sales page

The third draft of the new sales page

When in doubt, make it tangible.

Storytelling isn’t a magical solution

God Mode versus first-person

Begin with them (where they are now, and where they could be)

The vital role of momentum

The two acceptable outcomes (and… that other one)

Reality, and then hope

Never tell me the odds!

Engage the senses

Distant + detailed = more accurate scientific study

Part 4: Take Four, engage the sad panda!

Audio MP3

The fourth draft of the new sales page

Pushing the pain point

Trying to convince myself as much as the reader.

Some pains are harder to describe than others.

Playing it too strong.

Trust the reader.

“Feeling the need to over-explain and over-emphasise and really just cram it down someone’s throat… that was a function of me not trusting this yet.”

So many details!

The decision point

Fear the FAQ.

Price defensiveness as over-explanation

A major warning sign: “I don’t want people to see you.”

All love to Leela.

“Like swimming through oatmeal.”

Start with mirroring, one level up.

The stairway to cheery.

Don’t build yourself a straightjacket.

Finding another way to offer the outcome, without the downsides.

Part 5: The final draft, getting it right.

Audio MP3

The fifth draft of the new sales page (of course you could just go look at the actual sales page, but this is also here for posterity.)

All the pieces are in place!

Compare and contrast.

Evocative without matching the feel.

Modelling what they want, instead of where they are.

“When you really want to identify with people, it’s easy to get stuck where they’re stuck.”

Changing energy through sentence structure.

Making the sales page be an examplar of the offer.

When you are demonstrating enough proof, you don’t have to prove yourself so much.

Effortless creation as a function of clarity.

And done! PHEW.

The sales page resource I mention is already available to The Provocateurs, and will be available to everyone else in 2013.

What did you learn from my re-write of Goddamn Radiant? Tell me in the comments!